Whilst it was told to many of us as children with well-meaning and good intentions, it’s quite possibly one of the worst pieces of advice. More effective communication would see us speak to people in the way in which they wish to be spoken to. 

Each of us has our own truth about the world. Each of us sees the world through our own filters and biases. Each of us requires differing levels of information – from the absolute top-level inspiring one-liner, to a short briefing, to an in-depth plan for each-and-every-eventuality. There is no right or wrong. Frankly, we are all deliciously, fabulously, uniquely odd (and we should celebrate that!) But, in order to have authentic communications with a deliberate and reliable outcome (that's a win for all involved), you do need to speak in a way that absolutely lands with your conversing partner. And so the true power in communicating is to identify someone else’s filters and to adapt accordingly. 

And this is absolutely not manipulative or 'persuasive' in the negative sense. Instead it's the equivalent of switching from English to French when you land in Calais. You're still absolutely you, you're not pretending to be anything or anyone else, you're just flexing your skills to make sure that your message lands most powerfully and clearly. 

As business leaders we have a responsibility to recognise that communication is a two-way process, and it’s surely in all of our best interests to be completely and entirely understood. To bridge any gap. To clear any hurdles. And to allow for a mutually beneficial conversation to take place. 

So, how do you do this? First, recognise your own filters and biases. Next, attempt to identify them in others. By doing this, you will be able to celebrate your diverse team, and have the confidence that you can absolutely and intentionally communicate with them all, ensuring your message lands without any misunderstanding being present. 

To learn more about this topic, listen to Felicity discuss this further on The Fix with Michelle King and Kelly Thomson: https://www.thefixpodcast.org/episodes/felicity-wingrove-communication-agility-how-to-talk-to-anyone/.